At the CIA base, Jamal and Henry took a vocabulary test (because why not) and were about to see their results.
“Jamal and Henry, come to my office,” Mr. E(xtra damage) said.
Jamal and Henry went down to the office. As they walked in, They saw Mr. M(aximum damage)’s head on the beheadestle in the corner. “I would like to talk to you about your grammar scores”. After the “talk”, Mr. E(xtra damage) said, “There is a website I would like you to try. It’s called Membean. It’s a vocabulary site that I think would help improve your vocabulary.”
After 2 minutes, Jamal said “This sucks. My mind is getting more confused about vocabulary as I go along. It also sucks. It’s really boring. It also-”
“I GET IT!!” Henry yelled. “But yeah, it really does suck. You wanna write a diss track about it and force Mr. E(xtra damage) to stop making us do it?”
“HECK YEAH!!!!” Jamal shouted. “Let’s do it now!!!”
They spent the next hour writing a song. “I think it’s ready!” Henry said.
“Then let’s go!!!”
“But we have to do our daily reeee.”
They spent the next ten hours reeeeing.
“MR. E(XTRA DAMAGE)!!!” Jamal screamed as they burst into his office.
“Stop forcing us to do Membean! We’ve been doing it for 2 minutes and it’s already corrupting our minds!!!”
“You can’t make me! There’s NO WAY!! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!” Mr. E(xtra Damage) shrieked with glee.
“Oh, I believe we can,” Henry said as he pulled a giant bass speaker out from behind his back. Then Jamal and Henry each pulled out a microphone and started singing.
How much do I love not doing Membean?
By Jamal and Henry
An Original Song
(Bold text is Jamal, the rest is Henry, underline is both)
I get on with life as a CIA agent,
I’m an amazing kinda person.
I like spying on Sundays,
I like Ramming ice cream trucks in the week.
I like to contemplate not doing Membean.
But when I start to daydream,
My mind turns straight to not doing Membean.
Shoop Shoop!
Do I like not doing Membean more than you, Mr. E(xtra Damage)?
You bet I do!
Do I love not doing Membean more than spying?
You bet I do!
I like to use words like ‘Rockets,’
I like to use words like ‘Explosives.’
I like to use words about not doing Membean.
But when I stop my talking,
My mind turns straight to not doing Membean.
Shoop Shoop!
Do I like not doing Membean more than ramming ice cream trucks?
You bet I do!
Do I love not doing Membean more than blowing things up?
You bet I do!
I like to hang out with Henry,
I like to kick back with Jamal,
But when left alone,
My mind turns straight to not doing Membean.
Shoop shoop!
Do I like not doing Membean more than leaving people tied up in bathrooms?
You bet I do!
Do I love not doing Membean more than the new secretary?
You bet I do!
We’re not too fond of Membean,
We really hate Membean,
But when we just think back to not doing Membean,
And we’re happy once again.
Shoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop!
SHOOP! SHOOP!
After they were done singing, the room was smoking. Mainly the bass speaker was on fire.
“JAMAL! HENRY! HOW DARE YOU SET MY OFFICE ON FIRE, SING A REALLY CRINGY SONG, AND EXPECT ME TO TAKE IT!”
“YOU MADE US DO MEMBEAN!” Jamal shouted.
“Calm down, Jamal,” Mr. E(xtra Damage) said calmly. “We can solve this problem calmly and peacefully.” Then he pulled out a mini-gun. “LOOKS LIKE I’M GONNA HAVE TWO MORE BEHEADESLES!!!”
Mr. E(xtra Damage) started shooting like crazy (which he might have been) and Jamal and Henry were running (well, Jamal was). But Mr. E(xtra Damage) couldn’t aim a minigun to save his life and just put 50 holes in the same wall per second, so Jamal shoved his extra antlers in the barrel of the minigun. They immediately launched out, breaking the sound barrier, and seriously hurting the new secretary as she walked in.
Mr. E(xtra Damage) immediately yelled, “SORRY JANET BUT I’M MAD.”
He got “UUUUUUUUUUUUUUHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…” as a response.
Then a notification appeared on his computer saying he had a message and he went, “WAIT, I gotta check something.”
The message said that Membean was made by Russians and is actually a virus and so he then went to the CIA server rooms and blew up every server with the virus then went to Russia and started World War 5.
The Middle Seat 