Jamal and Henry ran through the halls of the CIA headquarters. Red lights flashed around them. “INTRUDER! INTRUDER! INTRUDER! INTRUDER! INTRUDER!”
They ran past a door. A guy popped open the door and looked out. “Jamal and Henry! Do you need me to keep saying ‘intruder’ over the PA system?”
“Yes! It helps everyone know that there’s an enemy on the premises,” Jamal responded.
They started running again. “INTRUDER! INTRUDER! INTRUDER! *cough* *cough* INTRUDER! INTRUDER!”
They rounded a corner. “There’s Mr. M(aximum Damage)!” Jamal cried. He pulled out his RPG.
“No!” Henry cried. “Mr. E(xtra Damage) wants him alive!”
“Okay,” Jamal pouted.
“When we get home, you can blow up Mr. I(need my mommy)’s yard.”
“Yay!”
By the time they finished the conversation, Mr. M(aximum Damage) had escaped. Mr. E(xtra Damage) called Henry and Jamal into his office.
“As you already know,” he started. “Mr. M(aximum Damage) is my twin brother. We became enemies when his wife, Mrs. T(hat’s a lot of damage) divorced him and married me. He now wants to kill me, and take over the CIA.”
“Got it,” Jamal said.
“We just received some intel.” A guy walked into the room. “Mr. M(aximum Damage) is working for the Russians.”
“Then there is only one thing to do,” Mr. E(xtra Damage) said.
“Ask them nicely to stop?” Jamal suggested.
“No, declare war on them, starting World War IV.”
“Alright sir,” the random guy said. “Jamal? Is that really you?”
“Yes.”
“CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?” he asked, waving a piece of paper in Jamal’s face.
“Sure!” Jamal took the paper. He then pulled out a lighter and then lit the paper on fire. Jamal handed the burning paper back to him. “Here you go!”
“Thanks!” the guy said. “I’ll go declare war on Russia!”
“Have fun!” Jamal shouted.
A few days later…
Jamal and Henry were on a jet to go fight in a war against Russia with some other CIA agents including Jasper
Jamal asked Jasper, “Do you know what happened to Mr. M(aximum damage)?”
Jasper responded, “From what I heard as soon as he heard you and Henry were in the building he ran away crying for his mother. Literally.”
“Really?” Jamal said sounding surprised.
“Yeah, he was also screaming something about running into ice cream trucks for some reason.”
“I wonder why *cough**cough* we never had anything to do with ice cream trucks.”
Then over the speaker in the plane, the pilot said “Wow, now that’s a rare sight, a flying ice cream truck.”
Jamal and Henry shouted at the same time “WHERE!?” and jumped out of the plane . They came back 5 seconds later with 20 tubs of ice cream.
“Whaaa…?” Jasper started to trail off.
The plane started to fall because the tubs of ice cream were actual bathtubs full of ice cream and everyone except Jamal and Henry started to scream as the plane crashed. Jamal and Henry saw Jasper fall into a tub of ice cream and both Jamal and Henry screamed, “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT THE MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP!!!!!”
But then Jamal and Henry got knocked out as the plane exploded, but everyone fell into ice cream and survived.
Jamal and Henry both woke up when they both shouted, “NOO! Only peanut butter ice cream is left?! You gotta be kidding me!”
A while later, Jamal, Henry, Jasper, all the other people, and Johnny(they only knew that name because he always said “Hi, I’m Johnny”) were all walking farther away from the plane.
Soon after they started walking away from the crash, Jasper realized that they were in Russia. Jasper told everyone and got a response from Jamal. “So that’s why there’s a bunch of Russian soldiers running straight for us.” Then he started running at them and was shooting his AK-47 (the modified one) at them like a maniac.
They were on the ground charging toward the Russian soldiers. Then the Russians started opening fire. Everyone jumped behind a rock, except for Johnny. May he rest in peace. Henry started chucking grenades. Somehow, even after he threw the grenade, it still was flying in slow motion. Jamal got on his radio and requested a missile strike. A few minutes later a rocket flew out of the sky and exploded. There were no casualties, but it certainly scared the Russians. They ran backward, but then a rocket started flying at the US soldiers. Johnny got hit and was killed. More rockets were flying and nobody was giving up. The Russians kept shooting.
Johnny was hit the chest. “Tell my family I love them,” he said. Then he died.
“Send in more missiles!” Jamal shouted into his radio.
Henry kept chucking grenades. But he realized that he wasn’t doing any damage. So he pulled the pin on a grenade, put it in a box of gunpowder, then threw the box. He took out 30 tanks. Now that’s a lotta damage. Jamal then put the box of gunpowder and grenades on rockets. He blasted at a Russian plane. Everything within a 30-mile radius was vaporized. Good thing the plane was30.00000000000000000000000000001 miles away from the US troops. Except for Johnny. May she rest in peace.
Suddenly, Jamal heard a rustle in the bushes, and, out of reflex, shot his RPG right at the noise. Mr. M(aximum Damage)’s head slowly rolled out of the bush and stopped Jamal’s feet.
Jamal called a helicopter and told them that he had a surprise for Mr. E(xtra damage).
After they landed(somehow they landed on Johnny. May it rest in peace), Mr. E(xtra Damage) asked them what the surprise was. “Over here, in the cooler. I have a new head to add to the BeHEADastals.”
Mr. E(xtra Damage) was upset that Jamal killed his brother. He wanted him alive. But then Jamal explained that they could just sew him back together, and shock him back to life.
“Okay, sure!” Mr. E(xtra Damage) “Then we can put him in a display case!” Jamal and Henry received medals for their service to US. Mr. E(xtra Damage) got a sick display case in his office.
“Um, shouldn’t we stop fighting now that this all has been resolved?” Henry asked.
“Nah, we’ll just let the armies figure it out.”
The Middle Seat 