By: Parker, Liam, and Jake

Last time on the Adventures of Jamal (The Temple of the Lost Hydrogen Bomb)…

Bill Nye the Russian Spy and his sidekick Jamal were standing in front of the lost temple of the hydrogen bomb. 

“Here it is,” Bill said. “The temple of the lost hydrogen bomb.”

…

They had reached the balcony at the top of the temple, and sitting right in front of them, was the lost hydrogen bomb. Jamal walked up to the bomb and started pressing buttons. 

“What are you doing Jamal?” Bill asked.

Jamal put his hoof to his ear and said, “Quick! I need back up! Now!”

…

“I’m an American Moose! Have fun dying by the hydrogen bomb!” Jamal yelled.

…

Bill ran over to the bomb to defuse it. Right as he was about to cut the last wire…BOOM! Bill Nye was vaporized. Jamal got a medal for his service to the U.S.A.

Jamal walked (well technically he trotted) down the office to the guy in charge of assigning missions at the CIA. Earlier that day he had received an encrypted message on his phone (not very secure) to meet at the CIA base (coordinates were included too, even though he knew where it was).

Jamal entered the meeting room. In the center was his usual platter piled with carrots three feet high, as Jamal is eating his carrots (already an eighth of the way through) the CIA director was sitting on the other end of the table in his usual shadowy spot, around fifty feet away from the only light source, a candle in the middle of the table. No one knew the director, not even his voice because he was so far away, he needed to use a speaker and used a voice changer through it then he said, “We intercepted a message that someone plans to assassinate the president. We need you to go undercover to stop the assassination and save the president. Oh, and bring me back a Taco Bell CrunchWrap Supreme, I’m always hungry.” 

So Jamal responds (shouting) “Yes sir!” which he got back a “what?” so Jamal grabbed a piece of paper, wrote “yes sir” on it, made a paper airplane and attached a rocket to it and threw it.

The CIA director responded, ”Okay.”

While Jamal was on his way to the White House someone in a white van pulled up and said, “Want some candy?”

 To which Jamal responded, “Not today” then pulled out his RPG, shot the engine, and arrested him. Then when he got to the White House he walked right in and got equipped for secret service. 

The president greeted him saying, “Hello Mr. Moose, I understand you’re here to stop an assassination?”. 

“Correct,” said Jamal.

The meeting was on the infinitieth floor,  guarded by lasers, skeletons, poison spikes, holes, giant flames, quicksand, Godzilla, lava, sharks, bear traps, lions, and a soundproof invisible force field around the whole thing making it impossible to infiltrate unless you touched it with a chocolate bar from the vending machine around 300,000 x infinity floors below the meeting (what a long elevator ride). As Jamal was walking(technically still trotting) to the meeting he noticed pictures of all the presidents along the hallway. 

They finally arrived at the meeting room. Jamal pulled out his chocolate bar and touched the force field. Jamal quickly galloped in, because a second later, it closed, keeping the meeting completely private, and almost singing his tail on the force field. The members of the meeting welcomed Jamal a force field seat because he was the only person that could see out the window with his moose vision. Since there was really nothing to talk about, they decided to have lunch. In the middle of eating his carrots, he saw a person in black come out of a black limo, and walked, with his gun out, toward the president’s office.

Jamal hastily took a parachute out of his pants (don’t ask), touched the force field with his chocolate bar, and jumped. Without his parachute on, he took out his tranq sniper and quick scoped the guy in the black. He pulled the string at the last second and drifted gently on the ground. “You are under arrest for an attempted assassination of the president.

A secret service agent walked up to Jamal. “The president thanks you for saving his life. He is inviting you to a dinner party tonight to celebrate his success.”

Later that night, Jamal sat down at the table. He looked around at the table. He saw the President, the Vice President, The secretary of state, Secret Service director, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs’ Staff, Vice Chairman of the Joint Chiefs’ staff, and the General of the United States Armed Forces. But Jamal noticed that there was one empty seat, with a nameplate that said, “Mr. X(tra damage), Director of the CIA.” Everybody knows that Mr. X(tra damage) is a formidable man, and has no sense of humor and can’t take a joke, and Billy’s head in the display case reminds us of that every time we walk in his office(it’s better if you don’t imagine that). Jamal wondered why Mr. X(tra damage) wasn’t here. Mr. X(tra damage) was a big fan of free food, he would never miss a party like this.  

Jamal’s first idea was that he was late. But he dismissed that thought. Mr. X always got there first because he wanted to make sure he could get a lot of free food, and eat it hot. His next thought was that Mr.X(tra damage) got kidnapped/killed. But he dismissed that thought quickly as well. Mr.X(tra damage)’s identity was top secret to everyone except him and the president. Also, the CIA director knew 200 different styles of martial arts(Jamal knew 201.) That left only one reason that Jamal could think of. He was going to kill the President. But how was he going to kill the President, when he wasn’t there?

Then a small beep brought Jamal’s attention to the turkey platter in front of him. There was another beep. And another beep. And another. And another. They were getting faster. 

“There’s a bomb in the turkey!” Jamal cried. 

He leaped up onto the table, picked up the turkey with his antlers, and chucked it out the window. The bomb exploded. There were only 200 civilian casualties. The rest was a group of very unlucky secret service agent who happened to be walking next to the window.

Jamal jumped at the window to get to the lawn to find Mr. X(tra damage). He looked at the security gates and saw him rushing through security. Mr. X(tra damage) looked towards Jamal and spotted him. He started sprinting away. Jamal raced after him. They both ran through the security gates. Up ahead, a taxi was idling, waiting for Mr. X(tra damage). He was about to getaway. Jamal picked up the pace. And tripped. Down he went. Onto the ground. He was thinking that this would be his first failed mission. Then he saw Mr. X(tra damage) trip. 

“What the?” Jamal asked. 

He then saw his glorious partner, a sloth, slowly rise from a bush. “Hey, Jamal!”

“Henry, you are the world’s greatest sloth.”

“I know.”

Jamal stood up and took a pair of handcuffs out of his pants(He would have let Henry do it, but he would be dead by then). Mr. X(tra damage) was arrested. Jamal got a medal for his service to the United States. Henry was promoted from Junior CIA Agent to Senior CIA  Agent.